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(no subject) [Oct. 24th, 2004|08:36 pm]
I'm going to end up an old maid that paints sad clowns all day and has 40 cats.
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2004|06:04 pm]
Charlottesville isn't that big of a city, so there's a lot of things you wouldn't expect to run into that you would in a larger city. Which brings me to why I keep getting harassed for money by people off the street. It's the third time this has happened within the last month or so. Today, as I am walking out of the grocery store, actually get into my car, this guy crosses the street waves for me to talk to him, so I barely crack my window and he wants money. He was obviously strung out on something, but there I am in my little volkswagen sitting next to some guy getting into his really nice Mercedes and this strung out guy asks me. I know I don't look like I have lots of money so why not try to hit someone up who does. I guess maybe if he targeted me b/c I'm a female (which apparently we're more gullable, generous, etc.) then I would more than likely give him the money? I have no idea. I am tired of being approached about it. It's bad enough I'm a female out doing things by myself and fear for that alone, but I also have some potential stalker....so to add on druggies/drunk/homeless trying to get the little bit of money I actually have is too much. I'm going to be like britney spears and hire 12 different body guards, or , better yet, my own secret service hehe

On a happier note...

I did see this really cute little westie today. His owner had him out walking on the sidewalk, skipping over puddles. It was too cute. I really want one! :)
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(no subject) [Sep. 27th, 2004|08:15 pm]
Today has been a really trying day for me. In fact, it was one of the worst ones I've had in a while. Save getting to see my buddy this morning, everything after that just went horribly wrong. Some friends wanted me to come stay with them tonight, drink some wine and such b/c they know how awful the last 9 hours have been to me...but, I decided to come home instead and put myself through even more misery. I just really need something good in my life right now. I know I wrote about that several entries ago, but it's very true. I don't care in what shape or form it comes, I just want something very positive. At one point, I thought for sure I had found it. Though, I think it's slowing slipping away from me, and if so, my one thing I have to look forward to when coming home will be gone. This may require a date with the bathtub and a sharp object if it continues on this horrible path :( A person can only take but so much of this...

Papa bear please come out of your hole
I’m feeling really sad and only you know
I need you to let me back in
You’ve shut the door and I’m out in the cold

I’m having a hard time accepting this distance
It comes too fast
I have no time to prepare
And you leave me feeling like you don’t care

I know in a few days you’ll be loving me again
And we’ll be back to where we’d have been
You will think nothing of it
I’ll grieve some and dwell about it

People will again think of us together
And we’ll both be much better
But before long you'll be back in your hole
Then I’ll once more be out in the cold
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(no subject) [Sep. 26th, 2004|10:04 pm]
If I had the chance love
I would not hesitate
To tell you all things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late
Cause I've relied on my illusion
To keep me warm at night
And I've denied in my capacity to love
But I am willing to give up this fight
Been up all night drinking
To drown my sorrow down
But nothing seems to help me since you've gone away
I'm so tired of this town
Where every tongue is wagging
When every back is turned
They're telling secrets that should never be revealed
There's nothing to be gained from this
But disaster
Here's a good one
Did you hear about my friend
He's embarrassed to be seen now
Cause we all know his sins
If I had the chance love
I would not hesitate
To tell you all the things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late
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This is incredibly sappy...consider yourself warned. [Sep. 24th, 2004|08:33 pm]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]

I was watching these two birds in a tree outside my house today. One would just sit on the branch, while the other would bring it stuff. Things to build, eat, etc, but the other bird just sat there accepting whatever was brought. Then I thought about what someone told me what they'd do for the person they loved, and it was very similar to the birds. This person would do everything they could to have their loved one pleased. I wonder how long that truly lasts. I don't doubt this person in anyway, but I do wonder since I know how "new love", or, rather I say, new infatuation can make you do things that take you out of your way, out of the norm. But then there's that "true love" that keeps you doing those things, no matter how badly beaten down you've become. I consider myself to still be like the birds. I get wore down, but for some reason I still try to think of things that would make people I love happy. Four years later I still leave little, "I'm thinking about you. Hope you're day is going well." notes on their car, write letters (not typed hehe), buy them small gifts for the hell of it, and tell them as much as I possibly can just what they mean to me. Sometimes I get mad b/c I am just the bird doing the giving, and it can feel like I'm not receiving. So when I see these birds, product of mother nature and not corrupted, unless bird communities are as bad as ours, I wonder if I should just not get mad and accept that I'm the giving bird.
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2004|06:00 pm]
I want to be a painting on your wall.
The one that captures your every glancing eye,
My colors so brilliant, my lines so perfect.
You dust me off everyday,
Get lost in me in a dreamy way.

I want to be the painting you tell everyone about.
The one you describe to your friends with passion and admiration.
The one thing you can’t live without.

I want to be held high on your wall.
Kept scared to all others, none could compare.
When you look at me, I bring you ease and comfort.
When you look at me, you live for love.

I want to be the painting on your wall you see when you see yourself.
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errrrr... [Sep. 22nd, 2004|07:14 pm]
I want to make a shirt that says "The only Bush I trust is my own". If only I were political, or, even better, could wear that to work. Too many self-doers with too much time and money that want to talk your ear off about youth voter registration and all that crap. Also damn the corporation I work for that allows me to only nod and keep my mouth shut at work when they're hounding me about it. I don't vote, have never voted, and I also don't complain about the guy in the chair. Therefore, no one can tell me what to do with the one thing I have control over. I have yet to find a candidate worthy of my little vote, and I probably never will. So, in the meantime, leave me the hell alone about it. People think b/c you don't vote you're completely ignorant to world events. How can I possibly be ignorant to what our dearest President has been doing when it's on every other channel 24/7, in the newspaper, in the movies, or on the tongue of at least 20 people you come across in a day. I couldn't escape it if I tried. So just b/c I'm not out protesting or helping Bush put our nation into further debt with his campaign, or even supporting the other guy who could do the same damn job as Bush if elected, doesn't make me any less of a person.

This woman complained where I work that there were too many "anti-Bush" books on a fixture in the store. So, the manager had to take the whole thing down. How pathetic is that? Throwing our constitution out the window more and more everyday. Get over yourselves, people. This is absolutely the worst time of the year. I want to dig a hole and stay in it until it's over.
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2004|12:56 am]
So...I've got a stalker. Not cool at all. He's around 6 feet, dark brown hair, late 20's to early 30's. It all started in February where I work. I waited on him, and he commented on a birthday I had coming up, which I did in a couple days but hadn't told anyone I work with that I did. He then tells me how well he gets along with Aquarius, being that he's a Pisces. Late that evening, I have my back turned and I feel someone staring at me. I turn around and there he is, just standing there not saying anything. When I look at him, he says, "I just wanted to tell you have a good night". Two months later, I see him again at work. He comes over specifically to me, says hello and sits in an area where I feel his eyes staring at me. Several months go by and I've almost forgotten about him when I'm leaving work really late one night, no one else is around, and he's sitting in his car at a stop light next to mine, waves at me and follows me for a distance. I turn off a couple of times going nowhere close to where I live and am able to lose him. Then two weeks ago, it's dark when I'm getting off of my shift, and I find a note on my car reading: "I'M WATCHING YOU. BE CAREFUL." I thought it was a friend of mine playing a joke on me, like she's done before, but it turned out not to be her. So, I'm assuming it could be related to him, but not sure. The cop on duty, Sgt of the Ch'vlle police dept., walks me to my car when I leave a late shift, or if he can't, then one of the guys I work with escorts me. It's really bothering me that someone would put this much effort into scaring people. Sick world.
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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2004|07:32 pm]
A tornado touched down and destroyed everything in its path less than 5 mins from where my mom lives. During this destructive time, she's outside feeding her cats and working on the pool, then comes inside and watches Mash while sewing. I call her up to make sure she's okay, to see if she has power, etc., and she's clueless as to why I'm so concerned. It's then I filled her in. Gotta love my mom :)

On a happier note....

Last night I was told I had a lot of animals. So, today I went out and bought a Betta. His name is Onuff(II). He's red, pink, blue and purple. Coordinates nicely with my decor hehehe. I got him the Betta Display Aquarium with nite-glow illumination. It's pretty neat. As seen here: http://shoppingstore.jobbankusa.com/Pets/product7089-1.htm

I also have two other tanks. My 10 gallon contains six red serpaes and my 5 gallon holds "Gumpy" my red cichlid. (If you know anything about me, it's that everything I own matches in someway or another. I'm anal like that.) Gumpy spends most of his time on the side of his tank that over-looks the serpaes. He likes to watch them swim as a group around their tank, and wishes that he were a friendly-with-other-species fish so he could join them. He's currently undergoing therapy for this ;)
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a new definition to burning of the bras... [Sep. 15th, 2004|06:16 pm]
Over 20,000 women who wear underwire bras are struck by lightening every year.
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