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a question. [Dec. 7th, 2004|12:51 am]
I saw an old high school friend today that I hadn't seen since I graduated. It made me so nostalgic I thought I was going to throw up. Lying in bed tonight, tossing and turning, I thought about my life as all the things she said she had accomplished with hers go over and over in my mind. Why can't I be satisfied with my life? I have no great accomplishments or achievements to write down or hang on my wall, and when my high school reunion approaches, what will I have to show for myself? I have never believed that what we've done in our lives determines who we are. We are not titles, but souls. I want to think that if I die tomorrow, living each day to the fullest made me truly happy, and not what career title I have under my name. I am reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, M.D., this book fascinates me because the Dalai Lama speaks exactly how I feel and wish I could achieve about being happy with who we are and not what we have. I know that by not having true inner happiness I cannot be satisfied with my life. But how exactly do you overcome this feeling of under-achievement when you do run into someone that has "more to show" for their self? It is only human nature to want to "show off" to an acquaintance when they ask you that dreaded question, "so what have you been doing?" And then to walk away feeling horrible about yourself after they get through explaining their 15 page Curriculum Vitae and each and every plaque that covers their walls. It is then when I want to say, "well, I am a live and I am healthy, I also can put a roof over my head, food in my mouth, and wake most mornings feeling pretty good about myself." Isn't that what it truly is all about?

[User Picture]From: visiondark
2004-12-07 12:30 pm (UTC)
If you can smile at yourself, then you're doing good.. all the other stuff is just.. fluff. :) Just keep the smile going and you're set.
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